SELF ESTEEM

What is ‘self-esteem’?

Self-esteem is the attitude which describes our self. When we feel good about our self, we work better, our relationships become good at work and home and we feel this world is more beautiful. What can be the reason behind these all? The reason behind all this is ‘there is direct relation between our feeling and behavior.’ Whatever we will feel about a particular thing, we act upon that thing accordingly.

How to build Self-esteem?

If we want to develop a quick and effective self esteem, then the best idea is to ‘help people who can’t repay you back by either giving u money or anything else.’

A few years back, a writer was running a program to develop the positive attitude and self-esteem in the prisoners. After attending that program for two weeks a prisoner said to the writer “I will be free in few days’. Then the writer asked ‘what you learnt from my program?’ the prisoner remained silent for sometime and after thinking he replied “now I’m feeling good about myself”. Writer said “for me there is no meaning for your word ‘good’. Tell me the things which are changed in your behavior, actually the writer was expecting a different answer. Because it cannot be said that he is learning if he is not showing the change in his behavior, prisoner said ‘now he read bible everyday’. Then writer asked ‘what was the effect of bible on your life?’ he replied ‘now I find myself with me, and I feel better with others too. He had not felt like this before. Writer added ‘this is okay but, what will you do after being free from here?’ this conversation went on long….. One of the prisoner who was listening to them interrupted and asked ‘what you get after all these things? The writer answered “I get the feeling of self satisfaction that is more valuable than money.’’ Then the prisoner asked “why did you come here?” writer replied- ‘I came here for myself, I want to make this world a better place for living. And such a self-satisfaction is profitable. In short – what we contribute to system, we always get in return in forms of reward , and many times those reward are much more than what we give. But we should not think about the reward.

                Then another prisoner said- ‘whatever a person does, that is his personal matter/affair, if someone takes drug or any toxic material that is his own choice. Why do you bother about that? What relation do you have? Why don’t you leave him at his own condition?’ writer replied- ‘by the way, I’m not agree with your statement, but let say for sometime I accept that I’ve no relation with that person. But can you give me the guarantee that whenever somebody will drive car who has taken drug or toxic material. His car will hit accident only at a tree?? If you can’t guarantee me that his car will not hit people like me, you or our children, then believe me I’ve relation with that particular person. I’ll have to keep that person away from the road.

                ‘This is my life’, whatever I want, I will do! - This statement has made a great loss rather than profit. People always except the original meaning of the statement, and interpret the meaning according to their convenience and profile. Such people have rationalized this statement to their selfishness. Who’s bad impact affect their life rather it  also affects the life of the people connected with them & also affects the whole system.

Such people forget that we live in the same world. We don’t live separately. Whatever I will do has a effect on you. And whatever you will do, will have effect on me. We are inter-related. We will have to feel that in this world we all have partnership and we will have to learn to act responsibly.

                This world has people of two types: one who takes (TAKER), and one who gives (giver). Those who are takers eat well! And those who give ‘sleep well’. The givers have high-self-esteem. Such people have positive attitude and they serve society. “serving society’ – by this, I didn’t meant like our politicians who act like serving the society but actually serving themselves only.

                Being a human, everybody has to interchange. But the one who is called high-self-esteemed is the one who feels the need of taking rather giving too.