Personality is an interesting subject, and not a topic I
wanted to cover until I had thoroughly done my research. After-all, even just
the word ‘personality’ means a lot of different things to a lot of different
people. Our personality actually plays a huge part in how we perceive the world
and how the world perceives us so I think it is an important subject to cover.
This is all about living the life you want to live
and being who you want to be and I think it’s safe to say that we each view
someone’s personality as a large part of what makes them who they are. With
that in mind, let’s look at how you can change yours for your own benefit.
What is Our Personality?
I searched around for some definitions of this term and
I have to say that my favourite is rather basic: “A
set of qualities that make a person distinct from another”. Nice, simple, to
the point and the exact definition that I’ve come to think the word means
through my 19 years of existence.
On top of that statement, I, like many others, believe
that our personality includes our beliefs and values so this is the
understanding of the word I’m going to use here. Feel free to substitute your
own definition and still go through the process towards the middle of this
post.
How It Is Formed
Your current personality, whatever it may be, has been
formed in a number of ways. Psychologists have studied human personalities for
years and have come to a number of conclusions. First of all, it is believed
that certain traits in our character are hereditary, yet things like our values
and beliefs are derived from socialization and unique experiences, mostly from
childhood.
Based on that statement, it’s likely that the
personality of you and anyone you know is based on:
Social experiences (especially from childhood)
Unique experiences that you have had in your lifetime
The environment in which you grew up and how you had to
act
While most of this might seem obvious, there is some
strong research which suggests that a lot of our current personality is
in-fact, genetic. As an example, researchers from the University of Minnesota
studied 8,000 twins who had been separated shortly after birth and reunited
later in life for whatever reason. They found that even though one of the twins
may have lived a completely different live in a different environment, their behaviours were still almost
identical.
I don’t think I like the idea that our personality and
specifically our behaviours are largely proven
to be based around our genetic make-up. That being said, I still believe it is
entirely possible to change your personality and literally be whoever you want
to be.
Designing your Own Personality
Before continuing with the following steps on designing
your own personality, spend a few minutes thinking of the personalities of
people in your life. I have some close friends that I know whenever I see them
they will cheer me up because they are happy and very positive. On the other
hand, I also have friends that are close, but I can always predict how they
will react in certain situations and it is usually in a negative manner.
I think all of you can relate to my situation of having
friends who you love to be around and other friends who you do care about, but
make you feel ‘drained’ when you spend time with them.
The whole point of this post and personality development
in general is to develop the characteristics you want to have rather than the
ones you’ve been conditioned with.
Following are four steps that I have personally used in
the past month to help bring about a change in my own personality that have
allowed me to literally be the type of person I want to be. If you are just a
skim reader, do not take any advice in this post. The sections in bold need
their descriptions to be read in order to have this process result in the kind
of personality that you want.
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